Mr Pickles

 Pickles, Pickles,Pickles!!! Yum, don't you just get hungry hearing that sound? That crunchy taste of biting into that cold sweet or bitter pickle...making you hungry, right?

Before you make that decision, let me tell ya...these pickles are real and have lives of their own.

Hello there Ladies and Gentlemen. I am PickleDee-Pickleday! I am a bread and Butter man. I am so glad to meet everyone. I am from the south and grew up on a farm in Georgia. I moved to the city where I received my education and started my own business as a Chickin' Processor. My family and I would like to discourage people from eating pickles. It is not our fault we are so tasty. We would like to enjoy a long, rich life.

If you get a cravin' you just can't stand, why not try eatin' mor'chikin'?

Howwwdddyyy!!! I am Pickle Anna Lee. I am from the great state of Texas...Yeeee-haaawww. I been a ropin' my way around on the rodeo circuit. I am the fastest, best darn lookin' tootin' falootin' pickle gal out there. Got a mean ropin' technique.

Now I hear alot you like pickles, and I don't mean in a good way. Well, let me tell ya'll. I ain't gonna take an eatin' and keep on tickin'! lol Better be finding yo' self another snack there pardner. You sure not gonna' be catching me. I'll rope ya and tie you all up.

Greetings and Salutations! My name is Sir Pickle Whipper Snapper the Third. How are you fine folks today? Myself, I am just fine and dandy. You will have to, hum, excuse a few of my friends here, they are kind of...different!?!? I believe some of them left the field before they had completely ripened on the vine...you no what I mean???

I am sure we can reason this matter to both our satisfaction. Why would you want a pickle when you can have, say...Zucchinni? We look alike and Zucchinis make a much more dietary meal. They are much better for you.

I come from fine "seed" of pickles and my heritage is exceptional. To continue to urge for our kind would destroy a legacy forever. We should be classified as historical! My great, great, great...etc Grandfather came over on the Mayflower so I am part of the reason you all are here. So...Stay Away!!!

Hark! Hark! Hark! I am Mr Pickle Rickle Lickle Dickle Mickle from Gherkinland. Glaaaaadddddd to meet you! Somebody ring that bell...Pickles are SAVED!!! No more eating us anymore.

Congress just passed a bill making it illegal to harm pickles or their families. We are being "preserved" as national delicacies. (I hope that is a good thing) Time to celebrate our Freedom from burgers. Ohhh, scary to even still think about those mean burgers. They have taken so many of us, but...no more.

ROTFLOLOLOL!!!!!!   ROTFLOLOLOL!!!!!!  ROTFLOLOLOL!!!!!!  HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!!!!   I just kill myself. Pickle, Pickle, Pickle me Green! Hi there. I am Pickleonaburger. LOL...get it??? "On-A-Burger????"  

HA,ha,ha,ha,ha I have heard about you people and your love for us Pickles. Ah, how sweet. I love you  just as much as a barrel of pickles on the 4th of July.  You guys just "pickle me to death."

I hope you enjoyed this little parody on Pickles. Just trying to have a little fun and lightening the moment. We all need to relax and have a good laugh from time to time.  I hope everyone has a picklelicious day!!!

NOTE: This is a fictitious report. All names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent pickles. Any similarities is pure coincidence. The pickles represented are all safely in the stores for sale or preserved in a freezer somewhere!